Real Talk: Over Sexualization of Queer Women

It’s been widely acknowledged by many that LGBT women are more widely accepted than LGBT men. One of the possible reasons for this is because queer women have been largely accepted by the “majority”: straight white males. While it’s great that at least some members of the LGBT community are starting to be seen as “normal”, the reason why lesbians and queer women are more accepted is because we are over sexualized. Can you tell the difference between the two ads below?


Here are four reasons why queer women are sexualized by both the media and public…

1. Porn

The porn industry has led to a distorted view of what it means to partake in a lesbian relationship. The glaring inaccuracies present in porn lead many to form opinions about lesbians based only on what they see in porn.

2. Sexuality as identity

When someone’s identity is reduced to their sexuality, then conversations with that person inherently revolve around sexuality. This can both make someone uncomfortable and can also lead to hyper-sexualization of that person.

3. Sex sells

There’s no question that women, queer or straight, are over-sexualized by the media. The age old phrase “sex sells” still rings true today, causing both straight and queer women to be seen as objects of desire instead of people.

4. The Male Gaze

Aside from plain sexism, a common myth also perpetuates over-sexualization of queer women. The idea that women date each other or have sex with other for a man’s pleasure or benefit is not only false, but disgusting.

The over-sexualization of queer (and straight!) women cannot be solved overnight, however we can show our support for media that shows real lesbian relationships, like the ad above. If you find yourself in conversations that revolve around you or someone else’s LGBT escapades, take notice. Change the topic if you are uncomfortable! If you are a queer woman, remember that your identity is not for another person’s pleasure.  Comment with ways you have seen this in your life!


  1. A Boy And His Simple Words · February 17, 2016

    The oversexualization of lesbians is something that makes me sick to my stomach. Another thing about the male gaze issue that really grinds my gears is when males masturbate to lesbian porn but get offended when one rejects their romantic advances. A sexuality isn’t a fetish; lesbians are real people that have every right to say no to you. The fact that this still needs to be told to people is really sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: A Day in the Life | lgbthea

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